The Link Between Bullying and Shame: A Note to All Mothers

I have had the privilege of working with some of the most remarkable humans over the past three decades,

and most recently I have been graced with the presence of the Feminine Divine Goddess.

I am blown away

by the number of courageous, vulnerable, and intimate truths shared,

of what happens behind closed doors of one of the most sacred unions of all: Marriage.

As each and every one

of these beautiful women

speak from their heart,

I listen with compassion,

love, and integrity,

as I hold a safe sacred space

to release

shame, guilt, self-doubt, and fear.

As I honor their presence

I show each and every one of them..

How truly valuable they are ..

to their family, friends, and the world.

All of these women, mostly mothers,

are vibrant, amazing, loyal,

and committed to their husbands, partners, and family.

All of these women are educated, gorgeous, intelligent, capable,

and funny.

They are strong, loving, powerful,

badass mamas who are

adored by so many, especially

their children.

Some of these women are my friends.

Some of these women are family.

Some are clients.

And some are strangers.

And they all share one thing in common...

The heart wrenching experience

of Domestic Violence.

TRUTH BOMB #1

Verbal abuse is a form of

Domestic Violence.

Financial abuse is a form of

Domestic Violence.

And both are Emotional abuse.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS AN EPIDEMIC

and there is deep urgency to shift domestic abuse NOW.

Yes you heard me,

A.B.U.S.E.

So many women are being criticized, harassed, bullied, and scrutinized

in their own homes,

with words that carry

bulls-eye daggers that pierce

their heart and confuse their children.

This dysfunctional behavior

has been excused ignored and

shoved under the rug far too long.

Enough is Enough.

I used to think that shame was a thing that only women were coded with...

And then...

After intense-observation and active listening...

I discovered that...

So many men mask their shame

with abuse.

I choose to bring awareness and light

to this catastrophe that has caused

so many women and children to suffer.

Strong.

Powerful.

Purpose Driven.

Women.

Amazing Mothers

who take their job seriously.

Many who have chosen to leave

their successful careers

to stay at home

and take care of their children,

while their husbands/partners

further their career

and collect a paycheck.

So I ask...

Why is the value of motherhood so unappreciated?!

Because I am uncertain where the translation of partnership in marriage got lost and distorted??

Who decided that when one partner, collects a paycheck...

He has the right to bulldoze

over magnificent landscape,

trying to take ownership

of another human being.

Poisoning the foundation

where the fertile soil was

laid with love and devotion ...

The grounds that made

A house A home.

I have asked myself over and over again how could the irrational behavior of

one human being...

Shift an entire family unit

into “FROZEN IN FEAR”??

Truth Bomb #2

What is surfacing from beneath

the layers is a hurt little boy...

Trapped residual pain

of an unhealed childhood wound

living inside a grown mans body...

For this...

I have compassion. Not tolerance.

As it captures the radiance

of so many magnificent women,

killing their zest for life,

and distorting their perception

of self love and self worth.

Sadly and more often than not,

this will code our sons to misuse

their power and our daughters

to “subconsciously” believe

that this is a form of love.

Please know, that these women

live behind golden bars,

walk on eggshells, and

hide behind motherhood...

Afraid that no one will believe them

because they live a privileged life...

They are in fear of more ridicule and judgement;

Most of these women keep quiet

until the pain becomes unbearable;

Then, they burst at the seems,

like wore out “hand me downs.”

Feeling used and abused,

Day in and Day out,

Sunrise to Sunset,

Insides ripped to shreds.

Truth Bomb #3

In many of these cases,

It’s the inner strength

of a divine women, that has allowed

her to stay in toxic relationships

far too long...

And, when asked why ....

Almost all say ...

I DID IT FOR MY CHILDREN.

So, before you judge the woman

who has a beautiful home,

or two or three, who is dressed impeccably in designer clothing,

whose children go to private school and who travels the world...

Please know, that you,

have absolutely no idea

what her life is like behind closed doors.

TRUTH BOMB #4

These women are worthy of adoration, love, and support.

They are Remarkable Mothers,

and the CEO of their own homes.

They are not damsels in distress

living in the stone ages...

A woman does not need to be given

a left hook, a bloody nose,

or shaking in the corner,

to be in an abusive relationship.

The women I am speaking of

often advocate for themselves

until the words, the control,

the outlandish behavior

has either crippled her radiance

or infuriated her beyond her

boiling point.

And then something happens...

A SOUL awakening begins...

As she vibrates a new hem ...

The numbness of walking on eggshells,

on automatic, begins to melt away.

She plays with her song of FREEDOM.

It’s filled with passion and purpose.

Her cells begin to feel alive and nourished.

She now has the epic courage

to take a detour

AND CHANGE HER PATH.

God sees everything and

the universe has her back.

And I say...

Thank GODDESS

A challenge turned blessing,

And a blessing turned miracle.

NO ONE deserves to be treated

with anything but LOVE.

Truth Bomb #5

Domestic violence is bullying.

Bullying is contagious and insidious,

leaving scars that seep into

soft, innocent skin of impressionable children.

I am just one brave soul mama sharing from my heart .

If this is not brought to the surface

and dealt with, these magnificent,

kind children, who are capable of

living excellence

will be coded with abusive tendencies that will show up in their relationships and they will be more susceptible to either being abused in their future relationships or become the abuser themselves...

NOT EASY TO DIGEST, YET THIS IS THE HARDCORE TRUTH.

It’s a fact.

History repeats itself, until someone raises their hand and has the courage and tenacity to sustain the process of doing the inner-work.

So, many of you might be curious

as to why I am sharing this…

It’s pretty simple…

BECAUSE IT IS TRUE.

And for those of you who know me, know that I only speak the truth.

And for a very long time I cared

too much about what others thought about what I had to say.

And the day I realized that what

I had to say was of value,

and that my voice was just a vessel

to give other women permission

to shift their own value

was the day I decided to

tap into my divinity and courage.

To create a safe, sacred container

to let these women know that they matter so much!

I went within and

accessed the key

that I had all along.

I unlocked the flood gates of self actualization

Today I AM so eff-ing proud to say

that I lead by example...

I speak my truth, I walk my talk

and I teach women how to honor

their feminine divine goddess self

more than anything else in the world.

To love ALL of the “parts”

of themselves, even the parts

that they do not like...

To full embrace who they are

at their core and celebrate

their worth ON PURPOSE.

And so it is...

When a woman is willing to recognize her worth

and do whatever it takes to shift what is no longer serves her,

she can create non-negotiables.

And when she does...

She will begin to live her most extraordinary life ON PURPOSE.

Now is the time to shine like the star that you are...

Connect to your light.

Find your voice.

Speak your Truth.

Illuminate your Soul.

Heal, Awaken, Rise.

Do the right thing for your children

NOW.

Not tomorrow, but TODAY.